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Special | Liquid loves in technology, to what extent is it good to start or end with a cell phone

The digital love brought with it new ways of bonding and new languages.

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Following the theory of thought of the renowned psychologist Lev Vygotsky, it can be concluded that both language and thought are intimately linked, they influence each other and simultaneously. Seen this way, the new links and concepts of virtuality are in constant interaction.

The new terminologies

In this extensive exchange of ideas and forms, new terminologies have emerged that are applied to the plane of love (and lack of love). It is the case of ghosting which comes from the English termGhost” or “ghost” and refers to those cases in which after several dates or even having a relationship for a certain time, one of the people disappears, without explanation.

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The breadcrumbingwhich can be literally translated as “leave crumbs” It refers to the actions of those people who do not end up disappearing completely, but do not make an appointment or meet either. Every once in a while they leave a virtual greeting or make a comment on networks to say “here I am”, but not completely.

There is one element in common with what is known as orbitinga behavior that involves completely cutting ties in the analog world but staying connected in virtuality through retweets, “likes” and comments on social networks.

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benching, For its part, it is related to breadcrumbing, because it also implies putting the person “on the substitute bench” to have them as plan B or even C if other things fail. To do benching it is necessary to do breadcrumbing, that is to say: maintain contact to leave the other person in suspense and not lose them completely.

In turn, it is called cushioning to the behavior of some people who have a partner and simultaneously maintain several “cushions” or “cushions”, that is, people with whom you flirt from time to time, without necessarily specifying, to have a backup in case the bond with your partner breaks.

transformations of links

“In relation to the affective sphere, the platforms have given rise to various forms of interaction, in which it is possible to glimpse different neurotic behaviors”, analyzes Dr. Mónica Cruppi, psychologist, author and member of the Argentine Psychoanalytic Association (APA), in dialogue with TechMarkup.

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For the specialist, the almost massive use of social networks today has generated a certain social legitimacy in many of the behaviors mentioned above.

Perhaps we could think of this socially accepted cruelty and indifference as a consequence of the current malaise -traversed among other factors by the pandemic-, together with the rupture of the social bond, which causes loneliness, isolation, frustration and disappointment in relationships,'” Cruppi analyzes.

The sociologist, Diego Ezequiel Litvinoff, also emphasizes the transformation of the links that has occurred thanks to platforms and other forms of digital interaction.

“If at first virtuality appears as a way of continuing previous human relations by new means, Over time, it becomes clear that they are the result as well as that they channel and promote a transformation in the very nature of these relationships. and of those of human beings with machines”, highlights the sociologist, in dialogue with TechMarkup.

In his vision, virtuality is not only a new medium in which human relations take place, but also “materializes a historical paradigm shift in relations of power and resistance.”

Love in times of virtuality

Technology can be seen in a positive light if we consider that networks have opened up many more possibilities for interaction than at any other time in history. Today, we are literally one click away from meeting thousands of people.

Gilles Lipovetsky, thinks that today it is much easier to meet people, but they are linked for less time; research shows that at some point a great disappointment arises and despite the Internet and smartphones, the feeling of loneliness and frustration persists, ”says Cruppi.

Virtuality, then, opened more paths but also propitiated, by that same expansion, the transience of ties and desire.. Litvinoff, for his part, emphasizes that people remain at the mercy of the system and end up reproducing the prevailing codes, in this case, speaking of virtuality.

The networks are not used to find a partner, but the couple is found to continue feeding the circulation of digital codes. The medium establishes the rules of the game in which it always wins, while the subject is not the one who loses, but rather always remains on the sidelines as a multiplier of those codes”, the expert remarks.

The famous “he nailed me the visa”

A few years ago, the sociologists and researchers from Conicet, Maximiliano Marentes, Mariana Palumbo and Martín Boy posted a job that analyzes some of these codes that emerged or were enhanced by virtuality.

“When someone waits there is someone who makes them wait, but that is not fixed: in love relationships the subjects change and the dynamics are modified”, highlight the researchers in the study He nailed me: young people and waiting in love from new technologies.

And they add that new technologies are not harmful per se for links, only that they pose new challenges.

“PFor us, networks are not negative: with them people join, relate, eroticize themselves. Only, sometimes, since they allow so much control, they also make the subject more uncontrollable: they make us feel that the other is not doing what is expected,” Palumbo stressed, in the statement that was released at the time.

And he also focused on the role of expectations and the ability to adapt in these new contexts.

Many times those who best surf the current of love are those who have a more pragmatic vision: this is how it is, period. For those who start with many ideals, each ideal that is not fulfilled implies suffering”, concluded the sociologist.

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